


You’re in My Head. (Always)

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Fluff, M/M, hyuck is the only one that knows, idk how to tag, mark doesn’t understand, mark was in a coma, more to the story than you think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 18:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18482329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Mark knows he’ll always fall in love with Donghyuck. Unconsciously or not.





	You’re in My Head. (Always)

When Mark wakes up, there’s an instant pain that shoots through his head. Another at the base of his spine, through the muscles of his hamstrings, and the blade of his right shoulder.

The pain’s so consistent it nearly throws Mark off balance the moment he sits up. Not only is there the feeling of pain throughout his body, there's a wreck of nerves in his stomach that he can’t quite decipher the cause of.

A palm goes to assist, and places itself on the bare skin of Mark’s right forearm. Ever so lightly he almost doesn’t process the touch. There’s a weary smile that appears on the strangers face. Mark has never seen her before in his Nineteen years of life, so he’s quick to react his arm from her touch.

“Do you know where you are?” The stranger Lady asks. She places a clipboard on her lap and folds her palms atop as she sits on a chair placed next to his bed.

Mark wants to say yes, he does, so she leaves, but he doesn't. Mark doesn’t remember where he is, or why he’s there, let alone remember anything at all. His eyes well up tears of panic. The air is broken in pieces around him that he's so desperately trying to gain them back-- the memories, the thoughts. He begs, words even. Yet, not even oxygen passes through his lungs.

“Mark, I need you to breathe.”

Her words come out echoed-- far, out of reach to him. His mind becomes fuzzy despite being empty of things and people that once occupied it. It hurts he yelps out; unsure if it was actually said, or a play of his imagination. His fist is pounding on his heart asking it to beat again, and even if it was, Mark thinks he would’ve never felt it.

She presses what seems to be an oxygen mask to his mouth. Mark feels the bits of air being sucked into his lungs, grasping more and more of it each passing second. The arm that was once pressing the mask to his face is now placed on the back of his head, pulling him into a side hug. Not the best idea since he feels suffocated from the lack of air, but the feeling of comfort gets to him before anything else. A feeling of familiarity in an unfamiliar place.

Her hand is firmly pressed on the midst of his back, the other stroking gently at the back of his head.

As his breathing regulates, Mark lowers the oxygen mask from his face then releases out from her hold. He examines her facial features, soft eyes, that wrinkle at the corners, and a gentle smile that puts him at ease. Lee, Doctor Lee, Mark reads.

She Doctor lee, removes her hand from the small of Mark’s back and picks the clipboard that is now placed on the nightstand to the left Mark’s bed. He watches carefully as she writes something down, then sits in the chair once more.

“How are you feeling now?”

Like shit. “Fine.” he replies. Mark watches as her eyebrow arches in anticipation, then sucks in a breath before continuing,

“Do you know who I am, Mark?”

“Should I?” There's a slight sour look to her face when he said that, but he pretends not to notice.

“No,” she chuckles, “I’d be surprised if you did.”

Mark stops to ask himself Should I know her? , what does she mean by that? , have we met? , is that a rhetorical question? Before he eventually stops himself since the questions upon questions are bringing back the pain that never really left his head.

“My name’s Doctor Eunhwa Lee, I’m part of National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke branch here at the Samsung Medical center-”

“Why am I here?”

Mark knows how disrespectful it is to interrupt. His parents are quick to remind him of it, though this time, he can’t help the unsettling feeling in his stomach anymore.

“You were in a crash.” The syllables come out blunt. And as blunt as it was, Mark knows there shouldn’t be a look of pain, nor should there be emotion laced in her voice enough for him to detect it, but he does.

He doesn’t say anything about it though. There’s ringing in his ears that substitute the dead silence in the room. It’s not enough to hurt badly, or is it as bad as the pain in his head, but it’s enough to distract himself of the reality of it-- or maybe it was the opposite. The realization of it all. Mark doesn’t know.

It takes a few calls of his name, and a hand on his to regain his focus. Once again the feel of the familiar touch that brings him back. Mark’s sure that he doesn’t know the Doctor, Though he can’t pinpoint it, 

I’d be surprised if you did.

There’s that same feeling that tells him otherwise.

Mark fights the question of, “what happened to me?” unsure of he wants to know, but then again he’s unsure if he can avoid the answer at all. So he asks.

“According to some sources, you were running somewhere and unaware of your surroundings. You managed to make it three miles from your home, until eventually, you ran into oncoming traffic at a light. 

I don’t know what you were doing but something, or someone must’ve made you distressed that you blocked out all dangers around you and just ran. Luckily, when the ambulance had arrived you were still breathing. Unconscious, but still breathing.

 

You suffered from a dislocated shoulder, a puncture wound to your lower back, and pulled both the muscles in your hamstrings. You’re lucky no other damage was done, and the car that had hit you was just beginning to stop at the light. Very, very, lucky Mark.”

When mark registers the words spoken to him, He finds it hard to believe that there was ever something that made him so distracted to do such a thing. Mark was smart, he knew better than not to have feelings cloud his judgment, to think wisely of his choices, especially look both ways before crossing the street.

So why didn’t he?

“You said, that I suffered from all those things?”

Doctor Lee nods, “for 19 weeks, you were in a coma.” she answers, quietly, as if she didn’t want others to hear; more specifically Mark himself.

“T-then w-why was it when I woke up, I felt pain in those areas?”

“It’s possible that your brain has now just processed the discomfort while you were unconscious, it doesn’t usually happen since you’ve already healed from your injuries, but it’s possible.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have other patients to check on at the moment, and you young man, have visitors. I’m glad you’re awake, take it easy.”

She gives him a small smile, then stands to make her way out. There are others entering the room, Doctor Lee bows respectfully. The both of them avoiding conversation and Mark’s quick to notice how her hands are shaking in the slightest when she goes to open the door ahead of her, dissapereing behind it not a moment later.

It was Mark’s parents that visit. The Mom and Dad comes out a more uncomfortable than it should have, even if he’s apparently been calling them that his whole life, and it makes sense that they’re crying. They must’ve been worried about the fact that Mark could’ve never woken up and come back to them. For all he knows, it’s a horrible feeling.

They conversise about Mark’s life before the accident, sure to incorporate Mark’s most embarrassing moments in life, and sad stories about stuffed animals he’d never recalled having. It brings warmth to his chest hearing about the stories. He’s finally able to store something in his brain that’s filled with nothing but emptiness.

Eventually, they kiss his head goodnight, and tell him they’ll be back in the morning to visit again.

 

 

The next morning, Doctor Lee comes to visit again. She looks better than she did the day before. Mark didn’t notice then, but she wasn’t as pale, and there’s actual color on her face. Her eyes seem a little swollen but the observation leaves as fast as it comes.

“I see you’ve taken a liking to the hospital food.”

Mark shrugs, “There’s really nothing else here, I’m basically forced to eat this.” which was only half true. The vanilla pudding wasn’t all too bad.

She chuckles, before checking his vials, and the monitor to his right. “Sure, that’s why.”

“You guys aren’t really giving me much choice, I mean, besides how many cups of pudding I want, then restrict me to it afterwards.”

“You’ve consciously been here a day, and you already have been put on a limit to how much pudding you recieve?”

“Yeah, why ask if you’re gonna restrict me later.”

Doctor Lee sits again on the chair located to the left of his bed. She stares at him for awhile. He sees the fondness in her eyes and knowingly mistakes it as a ‘caring for the patient’ look. Mark should feel uncomfortable under her gaze but he doesn’t because that familiar feeling comes back, and he can’t help but strive for it.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll try to sneak you in some food from the cafeteria, how does that sound?”

Mark smiles widely, “Sounds better.”

Doctor Lee writes down a few more things, and explains to him the after effects of his coma. She reassures him not understanding things, or recognizing people right away is okay. That it’s all normal, and for the time being he should just rely on his feelings. If something feels off, he should trust himself, because for the moment that’s what he’s truly feeling, and although he’s slept a lot, he should get as much rest as he can before he’s released.

Which Mark didn’t mind, he had no problem with sleeping more.

 

“Mark Hyung!” A loud sob comes from the door, distracting him from his book.

He looks up to see six boys standing before him near the door, who he figures are his friends. He recognises the one who screamed as chenle, the tallest as Jisung, the light haired brunette as Jaemin, the darker as Renjun, raven haired as Jeno, and the boy with golden skin as Donghyuck.

They’re all standing there tears falling from their eyes before Chenle eventually tackles him into a hug. The others following shortly behind all except one. Mark feels the warmth radiating from their bodies.

The position is quite uncomfortable but he pays no mind to it. Although he can’t really remember them, memories are slowly starting to unravel beneath the seems the more time spent with them.

“Did you forget us?” Chenle cries, when mark givens them all an unfamiliar smile.

“I did,” More sobs come after, most from who he recognises as Jeno, “But i’m slowly starting to remember.”

“Good because we missed you asshole.” The dark brunette, Renjun says.

They all share their stories of how miserable it was when Mark was in his coma, and how they all had gone to church to pray that he’d wake up despite neither of them being religious like Mark was.

It was a good laugh, Mark’s sure it’s the most comfortable he’s ever felt since waking up.

When Mark looks past the others to Donghyuck whos now situated himself by the door. He looks like he’s about to leave at any given chance, yet something is stopping him from doing so. Unlike the rest of them, His eyes are already swollen from what Mark can see. Donghyuck shifts away from his gaze, staring off at his bed like it was the most interesting thing he’s ever seen.

“Hyuck, are you not gonna come say hi?” Mark asks.

As surprised as the sunkissed boy was to hear that nickname, it was also a surprise to the others, Mark included.

“I- I’m sorry I don’t know why I said that. It just, It just came out.”

“Mark hyung, Do you remember Donghyuck?” Jisung whispers, softly.

Mark looks to the others, who seem to be expectant of an answer. Mark feels guilty that he can’t bring himself to one that they’d be content with. He wants nothing more than that, but disappointment can only be described at the moment.

“I… Don’t remember.”

Jeno pats his back, he sends a reassuring smile, “Don’t rush it hyung, you will soon.”

Mark hopes it’s true. He really does. He wants to remember everything that happened in his lifetime, good or bad, the pain and hurt he’s felt. At least then It’d make him feel more alive, as if he wasn’t still stuck in his own mind, unconscious, and unaware, away from the people he loves.

Somehow the upset feeling he’s unable to recognise doesn’t fail to make him think about being away from the sun kissed boy, and it’s definitely something he never wants to happen ever again, nor does he know why.


End file.
